Sit your lovely, well-meaning friends down and say “You know what, I totally appreciate it, and because you’ve offered help, I now have the understanding that if I’m struggling, I can come to you and ask for help. But it doesn’t have to be brought up again- I’ve got it now.”
I understand both how your friends feel, wanting to help and not knowing how, and how you feel, slightly irritated at the idea that you can’t handle this. Irritation is a natural response to this situation, but it’s not really irritation at your friends- it’s at immigration, the concept of long-distance, and the universe itself. Keep your irritation where it belongs.
I partially agree with this.
Irritation is okay. It’s difficult when you’ve got a bunch of things going on, and you’re trying to establish a new routine that makes up for all the changes, and people are trying to kibitz on you. They mean well, but I think there’s nothing wrong with trying to figure it out on your own first. I always feel like too much help does not always make things easier ^_^.
My husband was deployed to the middle east for a year, and he left 4 days before our first anniversary. Although we don’t have any children and it was just me it’s hard trying to redo your life to make up for the missing person in the relationship, even if it’s a temporary thing. It’s important to make decisions that you feel are right for you and your family, so if you need to be more assertive in order to make things easier, then you tell them to back off. If people get mad about that, then they are being more selfish about it than helpful for you.
Good luck! I hope everything goes well, and I wish you the best :D